no☆one (yakiseop) wrote in fujoshism,

[oneshot] Absence makes the heart grow reckless and just really fucking bananas

Title: Absence makes the heart go reckless and just really fucking bananas
Group: EXO.
Pairing: Luhan/Xiumin.
Rating: PG
Warning: unbetaed.
Summary: Who thought making Luhan travel "alone" would be a good idea? Sort of sequel to Mooncakes and Romance.
N/A: 1, this. 2, i love writing sequels. 3, this is for crystal.

It’s truly uncomfortable to watch. At this point, they’re actually kind of used to Luhan and his generally distressing personality, but this is way too extreme, even for him. And let me tell you, when something is too extreme for Luhan, it might as well be a social hazard.

Hyperboles apart, it’s uncomfortable. They have to go through schedule making up for it, yes, we’re fine, please don’t mind the pretty one, he’s a bit out of himself tonight. No, he’s not hypnotized, nor trying to persuade our eldest member to have a staring match with him. That’s just him. We apologize. Luhan’s response to all the teasing is a very weak and unconvincing pretense that he’s not trying to leech Minseok’s life force through his eyes, one so pathetic that the others sort of wish he’d just shut up and keep staring anyway.

“We should’ve convinced Minseok hyung to go with them,” Joonmyun laments.

“We should’ve knocked him out and shoved him into Lu’s baggage,” Baekhyun hisses, always a man of ideas.

“The manager insisted that he stayed,” Kris shakes his head in hopelessness. “This is not, by anyways, our fault.”

Because indeed, the clueless manager insisted that Minseok and Jongdae stayed in Korea, not yet aware that Minseok wasn’t put in EXO-M because he knew Mandarin. At that decision, the rest of China-line braced themselves for the mildly dysfunctional mess Luhan turned into when taken away from his Most Prized Possession, but no amount of psychological training was enough when it came to Luhan being a fucking creep.

The worst part of it is that Minseok simply won’t tell him off.

“Hyung…” Jongin calls hesitantly during lunch, when he notices that Minseok is having a bit of a hard time eating. “Um… do you need help with that…?”

Minseok looks up from his meal and blinks cluelessly, as if he hadn’t noticed that Luhan was hindering his movements by hugging him around his arms. Silently, Jongin points at Luhan, who might or might not have hissed at him.

“Ah, I’m fine,” Minseok answers with a smile. “It’s just a sandwich. I’d be in trouble if I were eating with chopsticks wouldn’t I? Hahaha!”

“…” Jongin loses hope.

Luhan chooses that moment to whisper something in Mandarin against Minseok’s neck. All the response Minseok gives him is, “That tickles!” and wriggling away. Jongin looks at his side, were Tao frowns sadly at his own sandwich.

“What did he say?” Jongin asks Tao in a whisper. The older man merely shakes his head, closing his eyes, lower lip trembling slightly.

At the end of the day, no one even finds it weird anymore. They’re just pretty fucking tired, and they want to go home and sleep and wake up to their relatively normal Lu-ge singing Ne-Yo in the shower. But, of course, that absolutely miserable day couldn’t end without the queen of all tragedies.

They’re about to exit the building. They’re going home. They’re so close to the end that they can almost taste it. The fans are outside, waiting for them, and Minseok, who for a mysterious reason is in an incredibly good mood, decides to play with them a little, rushing forward to lean his back against the glass and make a very stupid and slightly sexy pose.


things don’t go well.

Before any of them can shout ‘LUHAN, NO’ or Kris can find his special discipline whistle, Luhan is already on Minseok, fucking kissing him on the lips as if they were alone in their room. Tao starts crying.

“Okay,” they hear Chanyeol say with an impressive amount of disdain in his voice.

“Guys,” Joonmyun is hugging Tao, either trying to comfort him or about to cry himself.

Luhan doesn’t fucking care. He moves down to kiss his neck, then suck his neck, and it’s a wonder that the fans aren’t screaming bloody murder at this point, but, then again, it’s probably better that way. Who knows what Luhan could’ve done if the manager hadn’t opened the door at the time. Who knows.

Also, what truly makes EXO members consider dissolving the group and moving to the Himalayas is that Minseok didn’t push him away. Not only did Minseok not push him away, but he also… well, some members swear they saw Minseok run his hands through Luhan’s hair, shooting the rest of the group a dirty, slightly apologetic grin.

But that was their imagination, right? Minseok hyung would never betray them like that.



Tags: genre: flavia wtf, group: exo, oneshot, pairing: luhan/xiumin, rating: pg13
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